[1]
ASTRID ESSED ABOUT BRIDGERTON
Categorie archief: Divers
NOTE 1A/PRIDE
[1A]
Violet: “Anthony, you cannot simply ignore your responsibilities to this family. You are the Viscount!”
Anthony (icy and fierce):
“Do not lecture me on my responsibilities! I have spent every waking hour of every day since my father died fulfilling those responsibilities. I have sacrificed EVERYTHING for this family! My youth, my desires, my… my very soul has been dedicated to ensuring the survival of the Bridgerton name!”
“Do not lecture me on my responsibilities! I have spent every waking hour of every day since my father died fulfilling those responsibilities. I have sacrificed EVERYTHING for this family! My youth, my desires, my… my very soul has been dedicated to ensuring the survival of the Bridgerton name!”
Violet: “I only want you to find happiness, Anthony. The kind of happiness your father and I shared.”
Anthony:
“Happiness? You speak of happiness as if it is a simple choice. You forget that while you were drowning in your grief, I was the one who had to hold this family together. I have done my duty. I am doing my duty now by finding a wife who is suitable. If that does not meet the Dowager Viscountess’s exacting standards of ‘romance’, then that is a burden she must learn to bear.
“Happiness? You speak of happiness as if it is a simple choice. You forget that while you were drowning in your grief, I was the one who had to hold this family together. I have done my duty. I am doing my duty now by finding a wife who is suitable. If that does not meet the Dowager Viscountess’s exacting standards of ‘romance’, then that is a burden she must learn to bear.
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NOTE 1AA/PRIDE
1AA]
Violet: “Are you actually returning to your bachelor lodgings in the city, or is there a certain soprano you intend to visit?”
SOURCE
AI CONVERSATION
IN DUTCH
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Anthony Bridgerton, the Eldest son and Head of the Family, the bitter Price being the Eldest and the High Cost of giving up the woman you love…..
LADY VIOLET BRIDGERTON
ANTHONY BRIDGERTON/THE ELDEST SON AND HEAD OF THE FAMILY/
THE BITTER PRICE FOR BEING THE ELDEST [1A] AND THE HIGH COST OF GIVING UP THE WOMAN YOU LOVE….
SEE MY RECENT POST ABOUT THIS, BASED ON EXTREME AND UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS OF A MOTHER ABOUT HER SON, ALMOST
LEADING TO DISASTER…..
SEE ALSO THE BITTER PRICE ANTHONY HAD TO PAY TO
GIVE UP THE WOMAN HE LOVED BECAUSE BEING THE ELDEST AND
HEAD OF THE FAMILY [SEE ALSO HIS MOTHER’S PASSIVE AGRESSIVE
MANIPULATION AND EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL]
”The Dialogue: Violet’s Harsh Judgment
The scene takes place in the study of Bridgerton House. Violet confronts Anthony about his lack of commitment to the family and his distractions outside the home.
Violet: “And as for your own pursuits… Will you be visiting a certain soprano whom you keep in an apartment that you pay for on the other side of town?”
Anthony: (Defensive) “My private affairs are my own, Mother.”
Violet: “Nothing is private if it harms the reputation of this family. You are the Viscount. You have duties…..”
Anthony: (Defensive) “My private affairs are my own, Mother.”
Violet: “Nothing is private if it harms the reputation of this family. You are the Viscount. You have duties…..”
AND
AND NOW, READ ON, MY READERS!
Anthony, the eldest son, the new Viscount and head of the Family
Although his mother Violet loves him very deeply, in his
beginning years as a Viscount, because of many factors [but not because a lack of love] she lashes out hard and cruelly at him until their reconciliation. [1]
He has his emotional issues like his mourning about his father, forbidden love [2], close friendship, albeit
temporarily strained [3], his deeply hurt feelings because of Violet’s seemingly cruelty and coldness against him, while tender to the other children, what makes him mistakenly think that she doesn’t love him which is not true] [4].
And being the eldest son, while his mother Violet lashes out at him, she learns
from that [offering Anthony later a tearful apology about her harshness, although not apologizing for sabotaging his love affair with Siena Rosso, although forced by real fear of the social death ] [5], and is much ”softer” to the other children [6]
THE BITTER PRICE FOR BEING THE ELDEST
AI OVERVIEW
POSITION OF THE ELDEST SON AND HEIR DURING THE REGENCY ERA
The Position of the Eldest Son and Heir during the Regency Era (circa 1811-1820) in England was of crucial importance for preserving family wealth, status, and titles. This was largely determined by the system of primogeniture and entailment (fee tail).
The Position of the Eldest Son (The Heir)
- Sole Right of Inheritance: Traditionally, the eldest legitimate son inherited the landed estate, the noble title, and the bulk of the family fortune.
- Responsibility: He bore the responsibility of upholding the family name, managing the estates, and often providing for his mother (as a widow) and unmarried sisters.
- Heir Apparent vs. Heir Presumptive: The eldest son was the “heir apparent” (the undeniable heir). If there were no sons, the inheritance passed to an “heir presumptive” (a presumed heir, such as a younger brother, cousin, or uncle).
- Education and Career: Because his future was secured, the eldest son often had the freedom to live as a “gentleman,” become politically active, or hold a high-ranking position in the military.
The Role of Entailment (Fee Tail)
An “entail” was a legal arrangement ensuring that the estate remained intact and could not be divided among all children. The estate had to remain in the male line, usually passing from father to eldest son.
This meant that if a father had no sons, the estate could pass to a male cousin (as seen in Pride & Prejudice), leaving the daughters with nothing.
Consequences for the Family
- Younger Sons: They usually inherited very little and had to build their own careers, often in the military, the clergy, or the law.
- Daughters: They were entirely economically dependent on their father and, later, their husband. They relied on a “dowry” or “portion” (a share of the wealth) that the eldest son was required to pay out to them.
- Widows:: “Widows were often dependent on a ‘jointure,’ a legal provision made for them in their marriage settlement.”)
[1A]
[1A]
AI OVERVIEW
Anthony was the emotional trailblazer for the rest of the family. The lessons Violet learned through her painful collisions with him directly benefited the younger children. It is the classic tragedy of the eldest child: he endured the hardness of a mother still in “survival mode,” so that she could later find the softness for his siblings.
1. Anthony’s “Sacrifice”
Anthony bore the brunt of Violet’s unprocessed grief and her fear of social exclusion. Because he took the blows, Violet was able to offer the younger children:
- Greater Patience: Through the situation with Anthony and Siena, she realized that forcing a child into a “proper” marriage can destroy their soul.
- Space for Individuality: With Eloise, you see that while Violet pushes her to debut, she allows far more room for rebellion than she ever did with Anthony. She tries to understand Eloise rather than simply breaking her will.
2. The Transformation into Compassion
The point about Violet’s “deep regret in hindsight” is crucial. That guilt wore down her sharp edges. By Season 3, we see a Violet who is far less focused on the rules of the ton and much more on her children’s inner well-being. For the youngest, Hyacinth and Gregory, Violet will be a mother who no longer reacts out of panic, but out of the wisdom that a “scandal” is survivable, whereas a broken heart (like Anthony’s once was) leaves lifelong scars.
3. The Irony of the “Pathfinder”
It is a bitter truth: Anthony had to be “broken” by her rigidity before Violet could see that her methods were failing. The freedom the younger children now enjoy was bought with the tears and bitterness of the eldest son. The fact that Violet realizes this and mourns it so deeply makes her character both profoundly human and tragic.
AND ABOUT ANTHONY’S BROKEN HEART ABOUT THE SIENA
ROSSO AFFAIR, THE DEPTH OF IT HIS MOTHER VIOLET REALIZED LATER, ALTHOUGH HER GREAT FAULT WAS THAT SHE NEVER APOLOGIZED FOR THE SIENA ROSSO SABOTAGE, WITH WHICH SHE, ALTHOUGH UNWILLINGLY, BROKE HIS HEART
[1]
[2]
AI OVERVIEW
This analysis from Astrid Essed provides a profound look at the “Mother-Son-Viscount” paradox. It highlights how Violet’s greatest strength—her dedication to her family—became the very thing that caused Anthony’s deepest trauma.
Here is the English synthesis of these key points:
1. Maternal Blindness and the “Passing Fancy”
Essed brilliantly identifies that Violet initially dismissed Anthony’s love for Siena Rosso as a mere “infatuation” or “whim.” Because she refused to see the depth of his feelings, she couldn’t offer him the comfort he desperately needed. To her, it was a strategic threat to the family name; to him, it was a genuine heartbreak that she ignored.
2. The “Tigress” vs. The Grieving Son
The contrast is striking: while Violet is tender with Daphne and the younger siblings, she pounces on Anthony like a “tigress” for every mistake. Essed points out that Violet essentially forgot that Anthony was only 18 when he was thrust into the role of patriarch. She demanded he be a hardened leader while she remained lost in her own mourning, effectively leaving him emotionally isolated.
3. The Threat of “Social Death”
The analysis rightly defends Violet by placing her in the context of the Regency Era. A marriage to an opera singer—viewed as “immoral” by the Ton—would have meant the “social death” of the entire family. Violet felt forced to act as an “executioner” of Anthony’s happiness to ensure the survival and marriage prospects of her other seven children.
4. The Power of the “Tearful Apologies”
As noted on astridessed.nl, the turning point occurs when Violet finally recognizes the “sharp, unintentional pain” she inflicted. Her apology is revolutionary because she finally stops treating him as the Viscount (the institution) and begins treating him as her son (the human being).
Conclusion:
This perspective paints Violet as a deeply human, layered character. She is a “loving mother at heart” who was caught between her own grief, the merciless rules of society, and the crushing weight of responsibility. Her journey in Season 2 is a return to that simple, tender bond, proving that being a “good mother” sometimes means choosing her child’s soul over the family’s reputation
This perspective paints Violet as a deeply human, layered character. She is a “loving mother at heart” who was caught between her own grief, the merciless rules of society, and the crushing weight of responsibility. Her journey in Season 2 is a return to that simple, tender bond, proving that being a “good mother” sometimes means choosing her child’s soul over the family’s reputation
[3]
[4]
[5]
”But at the end, Violet realized the sharp pain she unintentionally inflicted on her son and
made tearful apologies to him, saying:
””I am so sorry it was you who was with your father that day. And I am sorry for everything that happened in the days that followed. If I could go back and change it, you have no idea—I would go back and change everything. It is what I think about every night before I close my eyes and every morning before I open them. It will never go away.”
This is a heartbreaking, beautiful moment for Violet in which she
overcomes herself, for in Regency Era, parents rarely offered their
apologies to their children.”
By offering excuses their bond started to heal and they became mother and son again,but Anthony would never forget or forgive the Siena sabotage of his mother.
And the scars of the break-up of the Siena Rosso love affair [mainly caused
by Violet] remained,
since Violet never apologized for that….
FROM
[6]
AI OVERVIEW
Anthony was the emotional trailblazer for the rest of the family. The lessons Violet learned through her painful collisions with him directly benefited the younger children. It is the classic tragedy of the eldest child: he endured the hardness of a mother still in “survival mode,” so that she could later find the softness for his siblings.
1. Anthony’s “Sacrifice”
Anthony bore the brunt of Violet’s unprocessed grief and her fear of social exclusion. Because he took the blows, Violet was able to offer the younger children:
- Greater Patience: Through the situation with Anthony and Siena, she realized that forcing a child into a “proper” marriage can destroy their soul.
- Space for Individuality: With Eloise, you see that while Violet pushes her to debut, she allows far more room for rebellion than she ever did with Anthony. She tries to understand Eloise rather than simply breaking her will.
2. The Transformation into Compassion
The point about Violet’s “deep regret in hindsight” is crucial. That guilt wore down her sharp edges. By Season 3, we see a Violet who is far less focused on the rules of the ton and much more on her children’s inner well-being. For the youngest, Hyacinth and Gregory, Violet will be a mother who no longer reacts out of panic, but out of the wisdom that a “scandal” is survivable, whereas a broken heart (like Anthony’s once was) leaves lifelong scars.
3. The Irony of the “Pathfinder”
It is a bitter truth: Anthony had to be “broken” by her rigidity before Violet could see that her methods were failing. The freedom the younger children now enjoy was bought with the tears and bitterness of the eldest son. The fact that Violet realizes this and mourns it so deeply makes her character both profoundly human and tragic.
AND ABOUT ANTHONY’S BROKEN HEART ABOUT THE SIENA
ROSSO AFFAIR, THE VERY DEPTH OF IT HIS MOTHER VIOLET FULLY REALIZED LATER, BUT NEVER SPOKE OF
”VIOLET’S REACTION ON ANTHONY’S OUTBURST
And Violet’s reaction is almost pathetic and pitiful, when
you forget her emotional blackmail [in season 1, about his father who would have done things far more better] [18], her dehumanization of the woman Anthony loves [19] and her emotional coldness [20]
I think at that moment when he lashed out at her [which was unusual to him, [his sister Eloise would have done it long ago [21], she realized the immense and unreasonable sacrifices
she had asked from him and that his coldness was caused by her sterness, her lack of emotional support and neglect of
his personal needs”
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Lady Violet dragged Anthony/The discovery of Anthony’s love affair with opera singer Siena Rosso/”A certain soprano”
LADY VIOLET BRIDGERTON
ANTHONY BRIDGERTON
LADY VIOLET’S SON
SIENA ROSSO
LADY VIOLET DRAGGED ANTHONY/THE DISCOVEDRY OF ANTHONY’S
LOVE AFFAIR WITH SIENA ROSSO/”A CERTAIN SOPRANO”
A deep wound for Anthony is also that while Daphne is allowed to marry for love [however that was within their social classes, she married a Duke, Anthony’s closest friend], his mother
coldly commands him to break up his love affair with opera singer Siena Rosso.
[Eventually it’s Siena herself who ends the affair, but triggered by Violet’s and the Ton’s fierce resistance, leaving Anthony heartbroken]
While of course Lady Violet wants him to be happy too, to her defence must be said, that
a marriage between an aristocrat and an operasinger was a no go area in Regency Time, since
opera singers not onl;y were of another social class, but were also considered
as immoral women.
Such a marriage would ruin the marriage chances of his sisters, so Violet had no choice.
But in the light of her severe strictness against him and his scolding for even innocent
mistakes he makes, her fierce resistance against his affair [which she considered as a mere ”infatuation] must have hurt him deeply, a fact Violet didn’t realize at all.
AI OVERVIEW
THIS TEXT DIFFERS SOMEWHAT FROM THE ORIGINAL DIALOGUE BETWEEN LADY VIOLET AND HER SON ANTHONY, WHERE SHE REFERS TO SIENA AS ”A CERTAIN SOPRANO” BUT RESEMBLES THE VERY ESSENCE OF THE DIALOGUE]
Violet: I had hoped you would look over the ledgers.
Anthony: I have been looking over them for hours, Mother. The estate is in order.
Violet: And what of the family? Your sister is about to make her debut. The eyes of the ’ton’ will be upon her. Upon us all.
Anthony: Daphne is perfection itself. She will have no trouble finding a suitable match.
Violet: And you? When do you plan to take your duties seriously? Or do you plan to spend every evening at the opera?
(Anthony looks away, knowing she has caught him)
Anthony: My private life is my own.
Violet: Not when it affects this family. You are the Viscount now. You are the head of this household. Your father…
Anthony: I am well aware of who my father was. And I am well aware of the burden he left behind.
Violet: It is not a burden, Anthony. It is a legacy. A legacy that you are currently treating with great indifference. If you cannot be the man this family needs, perhaps you should step aside and let your brothers find their own way.
Anthony: I have been looking over them for hours, Mother. The estate is in order.
Violet: And what of the family? Your sister is about to make her debut. The eyes of the ’ton’ will be upon her. Upon us all.
Anthony: Daphne is perfection itself. She will have no trouble finding a suitable match.
Violet: And you? When do you plan to take your duties seriously? Or do you plan to spend every evening at the opera?
(Anthony looks away, knowing she has caught him)
Anthony: My private life is my own.
Violet: Not when it affects this family. You are the Viscount now. You are the head of this household. Your father…
Anthony: I am well aware of who my father was. And I am well aware of the burden he left behind.
Violet: It is not a burden, Anthony. It is a legacy. A legacy that you are currently treating with great indifference. If you cannot be the man this family needs, perhaps you should step aside and let your brothers find their own way.
AI OVERVIEW
Here is the English translation of your analysis of the scene from Bridgerton Season 1, Episode 1 (“Diamond of the First Water”):
English Translation
Precisely because Violet positions herself as the guardian of love, acknowledging the pain she caused Anthony by labeling his first great love as “unworthy” could have healed their bond.
Here is the specific dialogue from Season 1, Episode 1 (Diamond of the First Water), in which Violet expresses her ruthless disapproval and reduces Siena to a financial burden:
Precisely because Violet positions herself as the guardian of love, acknowledging the pain she caused Anthony by labeling his first great love as “unworthy” could have healed their bond.
Here is the specific dialogue from Season 1, Episode 1 (Diamond of the First Water), in which Violet expresses her ruthless disapproval and reduces Siena to a financial burden:
The Dialogue: Violet’s Harsh Judgment
The scene takes place in the study of Bridgerton House. Violet confronts Anthony about his lack of commitment to the family and his distractions outside the home.
The scene takes place in the study of Bridgerton House. Violet confronts Anthony about his lack of commitment to the family and his distractions outside the home.
Violet: “And as for your own pursuits… Will you be visiting a certain soprano whom you keep in an apartment that you pay for on the other side of town?”
Anthony: (Defensive) “My private affairs are my own, Mother.”
Violet: “Nothing is private if it harms the reputation of this family. You are the Viscount. You have duties. Your father would never…”
Anthony: (Irritated) “My father is no longer here!”
Violet: “No, he is not. And yet, the burden of this family rests upon your shoulders. You cannot continue running around with women of… that standing, while your sister needs a husband and this house a leader.”
Anthony: (Defensive) “My private affairs are my own, Mother.”
Violet: “Nothing is private if it harms the reputation of this family. You are the Viscount. You have duties. Your father would never…”
Anthony: (Irritated) “My father is no longer here!”
Violet: “No, he is not. And yet, the burden of this family rests upon your shoulders. You cannot continue running around with women of… that standing, while your sister needs a husband and this house a leader.”
Why this was so hurtful:
- The Dehumanization: By not mentioning her by name (“a certain soprano”), Violet turned Siena into an object, a scandal, rather than the woman her son loved.
- The Comparison to Edmund: By bringing up his late father (“Your father would never…”), Violet used Anthony’s greatest trauma as a weapon to force him to give up Siena.
- The Financial Sneer: By emphasizing that he paid for her apartment, she suggested the relationship was purely transactional, whereas we as viewers knew that Anthony was willing to give his life for her
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Bridgerton/Did Anthony Bridgerton have a death wish, leading to the duel with Simon Basset?
BRIDGERTON/DID ANTHONY BRIDGERTON HAVE A DEATH WISH, LEADING TO THE DUEL WITH SIMON BASSET?
HALLO FOLKS,
I’ve promised you Readers.
In an earlier Post about Bridgerton [one of the many I already wrote [1]
I announced to you to write about Anthony Bridgerton’s death wish [2]
because that is a crucial and also spectacular aspect of his emotional state
in Season 1.
I dare say, that to understand his emotional state and character, you must
be aware of the valley of painful depression he went through and the reaction,
or lack of reaction, of the people who were close to him.
SO THERE WE GO
DELVING IN THE VERY SOUL OF ANTHONY BRIDGERTON……
Here we see a young man,, the eldest son of a noble Family, aged 18 years, ”who has it all”
Money, high position, beauty, great prospects, a dear and close friendship
[3], great Family, great parents.
And then Fate strikes.
He sees his father dying for his eyes, stung by a bee….[4]
You can well imagine what kind of trauma that causes….
But there’s no time for mourning, because his mother Violet,
who also watched her husband die, is so grief stricken, that she
couldn’t function, letting all the care of her seven other children and
the household into the hands of her 18 year son Anthony, who, as the eldest son, also
became the judicial Head of the whole family [his brothers and sister and
also his mother]. [5]
You can imagine the burden, imposed on a 18 year old boy, who led a carefree
life until then.
And his mother doesn’t understands at all.
Although loving him deeply, she is so consumed by her own
grief, that she doesn’t see that her son is also grieving and needs
her maternal love and warmth.
The only thing she sees is his duties, the social survival of the family
in the Regency Era, where, indeed, a slight mistake can lead to social
death or exclusion [6]
That being true, that doesn’t excuse her lack of maternal warmth.
His mother Violet is only focused on Anthony’s mistakes [of course,
he didn’t have any experience in leading an Estate], always comparing
his father with him [unintentionally cruelly pointing out that his father
did it so much better], constantly reminded him on his duties, never showing
him any worth of apreciation, leading to his [wrong] feeling, that
she didn’t love him, especially when she did show tenderness to the other seven children, especially his sister Daphne. [6]
Feeling not loved by your mother unlike your brothers and sisters is painful
and can lead to a deep trauma.
SIENA ROSSO
But it got even worse.
Anthony met with operasinger Siena Rosso and fell desperately in love. [7]
And I say ”desperately”, because a possible marriage with an operasinger
was a no go in Regency Era, leading to immediate social death
to the whole Bridgerton Family, especially because Anthony was the
Head of the Family [8]
So Violet’s concerns about the love affair of her son Anthony and Siena
Rosso were understandable, in the light of her real fear of the social death [9],
but that was not the point.
The point was her total lack of motherly compassion and warmth [at a certain moment
she knew it was more than an ”infatuation” [10] and her dehumanization
of Siena Rosso, calling her ”a certain soprano” [11], without taking into account the emotional effect on her son.
DOUBLE LIFE
Now watching the death of his father, the burden of leading the Estates and the Family, the daily tasks in Violet’s absence [when she was consumed by her
mourning], as the constant and often cold pressure of Violet on his duties
are enough issues to drive a young man to an emotional breakdown:
But add to that his desperate and deep love for Siena Rosso, condemned by
society and his mother [who also cruelly dehumanizes his great love] [12]
and the emotional burden is nearly unbearable.
And because of that love for Siena, added to their secret meetings [they were not
permitted in public places [13], Anthony was forced to live a ”double life”
A life ”in the light” with his Family and social circle and a life ”in the dark”, with
Siena, as if he were a sort of criminal…….. [14]
Very painful when you are in love, especially when the very person, who
should have supported and protected you, not only utters her objections
[what is understandable given the circumstances], but coldly destroys your
very soul by denying your deep feelings or simply dismisses them as
unimportant [15]
DUEL
It is inevitable, that all those emotional factors leave scars on someone’s soul
and can lead to a deep depression and feelings of frustration.
And being in this state of mind, Anthony challenges his closest friend
Simon to a duel, to defend the honor of his sister Daphne. [16]
See this Great Thing under note 17
At the Eve of the duel Anthony meets Siena, tells her about the duel and
suggest to her to go away together, if he survives the duel [which means
killing his best friend] [18]
When he arrives at the duel, he makes his brother Benedict, who is his
second in the duel, swear, to take care for Siena, should he not survive the duel, a sincere
and impressive proof of his love for her [19]
STATE OF MIND
DEATH WISH?
Of course the reason that Anthony challenged Simon for a duel,
was the honor of his sister Daphne [20]
Now it is a Big Thing already, to duel your closest friend, challenging your closest friend, whose deepest, most intimate sides you have seen, and who has seen yours [21]
BUT THERE IS MORE…..
In the troubled, emotional state Anthony was in, torn as he was between his love and his social duties and obligations, hidden motives
and emotions took their toll….
Because when someone is exposed to unbearable pressure and is emotionally
exhausted by conflicting expectations and desires, there is an urgent need
to be free from that all.
So Anthony’s excited [by adrenaline!] and super emotional mind ran in two directions, depending on
the outcome of the Duel:
Either he survived the duel and he went away with Siena, being ”free from the
very rules that keep us apart” [22]
Or he died in the duel, being free from being torn between his love and the
social pressures being a Viscount [23]
So YES
Considering his traumatic background [watching his father die], combined
with his mother’s immense pressure on his duties, her demonization
of the woman he loves and his painful attempts to combine his emotional
desires with his duties, it is safe to say that he actually had a death wish,
in which the duel thing fit.
He sincerely wanted to fight for Daphne’s honor [however painful to
be obliged to kill his best friend] and thereafter flee with his loved Siena.
But there was the wish to be ”free from the pressure by death” too
And sadly but true it was his mother, who triggered his death wish by her
constant pressure on him, totally unaware of pushing him to
the edge. [24]
Had she, it would doubtless have devastated her.
And from her point of view, she probably thought that she ”helped” him.
But like I said before:
When someone is pushed to the edge, it matters not if the intentions
are good or bad.
The only thing that counts is the destructive outcome…….
And THINK READERS
Due to her unintentional cruelty and lack of motherly compassion, she could have received a message, that her son had been killed in a duel….
EMOTIONAL GAP BETWEEN ANTHONY AND HIS MOTHER VIOLET
The most shocking example of the enormous emotional gap between
Anthony and his mother is the episode of his home coming after the duel
Anthony is still shaken from the effects of the duel [which was ended
by the courageous intervention of Daphne [25] and when he enters the
living room his mother hardly looks at him and begins nagging and chattering
about the lace for Daphne’s wedding dress, not even knowing how
near to death her son had been. [26]
Should she have paid any attention to him instead of meaningless chattering
about a wedding dress ”approved by the Ton” [27], she would have seen
the state of mind he was in.
Now he had to cope with his emotional loneliness, desperate love and emotional neglect
by his mother.
Making selective excuses later [In Season 2 [28], [although revolutionary in Regency Era] [29], when the damage
to the Siena love affair is already done, not repairs the emotional toll
she had laid on her son for her destructive dehumanization. [30]
Especially since Violet never apologized for that…..[31]
SO
YES
ANTHONY, ANTHONY BRIDGERTON HAD A DEATH WISH!
Due to his initial trauma about his father, the burden of his
responsibilities, but mostly because of his mother’s immense
pressure on him and her inhuman behaviour of the woman he loves,
which hurt him deeply [32]
And AGAIN
Violet may have good intentions, protecting the family name, but
also thinking to protect him from the consequences of
the social death, might he have married Siena or openly loved her.
But good or bad intentions, when the outcome is, that someone’s heart is deeply wounded, it matters not.
Pain is pain, especially when your only ”crime” is to love someone deeply [33]
That is the most heartbreaking Part of the Story
ASTRID ESSED
I’LL WRITE MORE ABOUT THE EMOTIONAL STATE OF ANTHONY BRIDGERTON AND THE SELECTIVE ”EXCUSES” OF VIOLET IN
SEASON 2
DID ANTHONY REALLY FORGAVE HIS MOTHER?
WE’LL SEE
THANKS FOR READING
UNTIL NEXT TIME!
NOTES
NOTES 1 AND 2
NOTE 3
NOTE 4
NOTE 5
NOTE 6
NOTES 7 AND 8
NOTE 9
NOTES 10 AND 11
NOTE 12
NOTE 13
NOTE 14
NOTE 15
NOTES 16 AND 17
NOTE 18
NOTE 19
NOTE 20
NOTE 21
NOTE 22
NOTE 23
NOTE 24
NOTE 25
NOTE 26
NOTES 27 T/M 29
NOTE 30
NOTE 31
NOTE 32
NOTE 33
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Did Anthony Bridgerton have a death wish, leading to the duel with Simon Basset?
DID ANTHONY BRIDGERTON HAVE A DEATH WISH, LEADING TO THE DUEL WITH SIMON BASSET?
HALLO FOLKS,
I’ve promised you Readers.
In an earlier Post about Bridgerton [one of the many I already wrote [1]
I announced to you to write about Anthony Bridgerton’s death wish [2]
because that is a crucial and also spectacular aspect of his emotional state
in Season 1.
I dare say, that to understand his emotional state and character, you must
be aware of the valley of painful depression he went through and the reaction,
or lack of reaction, of the people who were close to him.
SO THERE WE GO
DELVING IN THE VERY SOUL OF ANTHONY BRIDGERTON……
Here we see a young man,, the eldest son of a noble Family, aged 18 years, ”who has it all”
Money, high position, beauty, great prospects, a dear and close friendship
[3], great Family, great parents.
And then Fate strikes.
He sees his father dying for his eyes, stung by a bee….[4]
You can well imagine what kind of trauma that causes….
But there’s no time for mourning, because his mother Violet,
who also watched her husband die, is so grief stricken, that she
couldn’t function, letting all the care of her seven other children and
the household into the hands of her 18 year son Anthony, who, as the eldest son, also
became the judicial Head of the whole family [his brothers and sister and
also his mother]. [5]
You can imagine the burden, imposed on a 18 year old boy, who led a carefree
life until then.
And his mother doesn’t understands at all.
Although loving him deeply, she is so consumed by her own
grief, that she doesn’t see that her son is also grieving and needs
her maternal love and warmth.
The only thing she sees is his duties, the social survival of the family
in the Regency Era, where, indeed, a slight mistake can lead to social
death or exclusion [6]
That being true, that doesn’t excuse her lack of maternal warmth.
His mother Violet is only focused on Anthony’s mistakes [of course,
he didn’t have any experience in leading an Estate], always comparing
his father with him [unintentionally cruelly pointing out that his father
did it so much better], constantly reminded him on his duties, never showing
him any worth of apreciation, leading to his [wrong] feeling, that
she didn’t love him, especially when she did show tenderness to the other seven children, especially his sister Daphne. [6]
Feeling not loved by your mother unlike your brothers and sisters is painful
and can lead to a deep trauma.
SIENA ROSSO
But it got even worse.
Anthony met with operasinger Siena Rosso and fell desperately in love. [7]
And I say ”desperately”, because a possible marriage with an operasinger
was a no go in Regency Era, leading to immediate social death
to the whole Bridgerton Family, especially because Anthony was the
Head of the Family [8]
So Violet’s concerns about the love affair of her son Anthony and Siena
Rosso were understandable, in the light of her real fear of the social death [9],
but that was not the point.
The point was her total lack of motherly compassion and warmth [at a certain moment
she knew it was more than an ”infatuation” [10] and her dehumanization
of Siena Rosso, calling her ”a certain soprano” [11], without taking into account the emotional effect on her son.
DOUBLE LIFE
Now watching the death of his father, the burden of leading the Estates and the Family, the daily tasks in Violet’s absence [when she was consumed by her
mourning], as the constant and often cold pressure of Violet on his duties
are enough issues to drive a young man to an emotional breakdown:
But add to that his desperate and deep love for Siena Rosso, condemned by
society and his mother [who also cruelly dehumanizes his great love] [12]
and the emotional burden is nearly unbearable.
And because of that love for Siena, added to their secret meetings [they were not
permitted in public places [13], Anthony was forced to live a ”double life”
A life ”in the light” with his Family and social circle and a life ”in the dark”, with
Siena, as if he were a sort of criminal…….. [14]
Very painful when you are in love, especially when the very person, who
should have supported and protected you, not only utters her objections
[what is understandable given the circumstances], but coldly destroys your
very soul by denying your deep feelings or simply dismisses them as
unimportant [15]
DUEL
It is inevitable, that all those emotional factors leave scars on someone’s soul
and can lead to a deep depression and feelings of frustration.
And being in this state of mind, Anthony challenges his closest friend
Simon to a duel, to defend the honor of his sister Daphne. [16]
See this Great Thing under note 17
At the Eve of the duel Anthony meets Siena, tells her about the duel and
suggest to her to go away together, if he survives the duel [which means
killing his best friend] [18]
When he arrives at the duel, he makes his brother Benedict, who is his
second in the duel, swear, to take care for Siena, should he not survive the duel, a sincere
and impressive proof of his love for her [19]
STATE OF MIND
DEATH WISH?
Of course the reason that Anthony challenged Simon for a duel,
was the honor of his sister Daphne [20]
Now it is a Big Thing already, to duel your closest friend, challenging your closest friend, whose deepest, most intimate sides you have seen, and who has seen yours [21]
BUT THERE IS MORE…..
In the troubled, emotional state Anthony was in, torn as he was between his love and his social duties and obligations, hidden motives
and emotions took their toll….
Because when someone is exposed to unbearable pressure and is emotionally
exhausted by conflicting expectations and desires, there is an urgent need
to be free from that all.
So Anthony’s excited [by adrenaline!] and super emotional mind ran in two directions, depending on
the outcome of the Duel:
Either he survived the duel and he went away with Siena, being ”free from the
very rules that keep us apart” [22]
Or he died in the duel, being free from being torn between his love and the
social pressures being a Viscount [23]
So YES
Considering his traumatic background [watching his father die], combined
with his mother’s immense pressure on his duties, her demonization
of the woman he loves and his painful attempts to combine his emotional
desires with his duties, it is safe to say that he actually had a death wish,
in which the duel thing fit.
He sincerely wanted to fight for Daphne’s honor [however painful to
be obliged to kill his best friend] and thereafter flee with his loved Siena.
But there was the wish to be ”free from the pressure by death” too
And sadly but true it was his mother, who trigged his death wish by her
constant pressure on him, totally unaware of pushing him to
the edge. [24]
Had she, it would doubtless have devastated her.
And from her point of view, she probably thought that she ”helped” him.
But like I said before:
When someone is pushed to the edge, it matters not if the intentions
are good or bad.
The only thing that counts is the destructive outcome…….
And THINK READERS
Due to her unintentional cruelty and lack of motherly compassion, she could have received a message, that her son had been killed in a duel….
EMOTIONAL GAP BETWEEN ANTHONY AND HIS MOTHER VIOLET
The most shocking example of the enormous emotional gap between
Anthony and his mother is the episode of his home coming after the duel
Anthony is still shaken from the effects of the duel [which was ended
by the courageous intervention of Daphne [25] and when he enters the
living room his mother hardly looks at him and begins nagging and chattering
about the lace for Daphne’s wedding dress, not even knowing how
near to death her son had been. [26]
Should she have paid any attention to him instead of meaningless chattering
about a wedding dress ”approved by the Ton” [27], she would have seen
the state of mind he was in.
Now he had to cope with his emotional loneliness, desperate love and emotional neglect
by his mother.
Making selective excuses later [In Season 2 [28], [although revolutionary in Regency Era] [29], when the damage
to the Siena love affair is already done, not repairs the emotional toll
she had laid on her son for her destructive dehumanization. [30]
Especially since Violet never apologized for that…..[31]
SO
YES
ANTHONY, ANTHONY BRIDGERTON HAD A DEATH WISH!
Due to his initial trauma about his father, the burden of his
responsibilities, but mostly because of his mother’s immense
pressure on him and her inhuman behaviour of the woman he loves,
which hurt him deeply [32]
And AGAIN
Violet may have good intentions, protecting the family name, but
also thinking to protect him from the consequences of
the social death, might he have married Siena or openly loved her.
But good or bad intentions, when the outcome is, that someone’s heart is deeply wounded, it matters not.
Pain is pain, especially when your only ”crime” is to love someone deeply [33]
That is the most heartbreaking Part of the Story
ASTRID ESSED
I’LL WRITE MORE ABOUT THE EMOTIONAL STATE OF ANTHONY BRIDGERTON AND THE SELECTIVE ”EXCUSES” OF VIOLET IN
SEASON 2
DID ANTHONY REALLY FORGAVE HIS MOTHER?
WE’LL SEE
THANKS FOR READING
UNTIL NEXT TIME!
NOTES
NOTES 1 AND 2
NOTE 3
NOTE 4
NOTE 5
NOTE 6
NOTES 7 AND 8
NOTE 9
NOTES 10 AND 11
NOTE 12
NOTE 13
NOTE 14
NOTE 15
NOTES 16 AND 17
NOTE 18
NOTE 19
NOTE 20
NOTE 21
NOTE 22
NOTE 23
NOTE 24
NOTE 25
NOTE 26
NOTES 27 T/M 29
NOTE 30
NOTE 31
NOTE 32
NOTE 33
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NOTES 1 AND 2/DREAMS
[1]
ASTRID ESSED ABOUT BRIDGERTON
[2]
DO YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW LADY VIOLET’S HARSH TREATMENT
NEARLY DROVE ANTHONY TO HIS DEATH? [OF COURSE SHE HAD NO IDEA, BECAUSE SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN HORRIFIED AND HEARTBROKEN]
THEN WATCH MY WEBSITE WHEN POSTING ABOUT THE DUEL
[THAT NEVER WAS] BETWEEN ANTHONY AND HIS CLOSEST FRIEND SIMON, 2ND DUKE OF HASTINGS
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NOTE 3/DREAMS
[3]
AI OVERVIEW
An Overview of the Friendship: Anthony Bridgerton and Simon Basset, 2nd Duke of Hastings
1. The Beginning: Brotherhood at Oxford
The foundation of their bond was laid years before the series begins. They were classmates at Oxford, during which time Anthony was the only one truly aware of Simon’s traumatic childhood and his stutter. This shared vulnerability made them “bosom friends”: Simon could drop his mask around Anthony, while Anthony found in the free-spirited Simon a counterbalance to his stifling family obligations.
The foundation of their bond was laid years before the series begins. They were classmates at Oxford, during which time Anthony was the only one truly aware of Simon’s traumatic childhood and his stutter. This shared vulnerability made them “bosom friends”: Simon could drop his mask around Anthony, while Anthony found in the free-spirited Simon a counterbalance to his stifling family obligations.
2. The Return: Trust and Tension
When Simon returns to London, their relationship becomes complex. Anthony is genuinely happy to see his friend (celebrating boisterously at their club), but the dynamics shift as soon as Simon shows interest in Daphne.
When Simon returns to London, their relationship becomes complex. Anthony is genuinely happy to see his friend (celebrating boisterously at their club), but the dynamics shift as soon as Simon shows interest in Daphne.
- Protective Instincts: Driven by his role as head of the family, Anthony trusts Simon as a friend but distrusts him as a suitor because he knows Simon’s “rakish” past.
- The Pact: They strike a secret agreement to raise Daphne’s social standing, demonstrating how blindly they still trust one another at that stage.
3. The Breaking Point: The Duel
The friendship shatters when Anthony catches Simon and Daphne in the garden. To Anthony, this is the ultimate betrayal: his best friend has compromised his sister’s honor (and by extension, the family’s).
The friendship shatters when Anthony catches Simon and Daphne in the garden. To Anthony, this is the ultimate betrayal: his best friend has compromised his sister’s honor (and by extension, the family’s).
- The Rawness: The insults they hurl at each other in the club are painfully personal. They strike where it hurts most (Simon’s father complex versus Anthony’s failure as a patriarch).
- The Death Wish: During the duel, Anthony is prepared to die. The fact that he misses is a sign of his subconscious friendship; the fact that Simon fires into the air is the salvation of both their souls.
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